CAUTION! All employees must correctly dispose of otherworldly biohazards found on Dark Enterprises property. Failure to comply may result in one hell of a mess…
“If a door is closed, you leave it alone.”
That’s the one rule janitor Sam is given when he starts cleaning the infamous thirteenth floor of the Denver branch of Hell-like multinational corporation Dark Enterprises.
Sam is thrilled to be that much closer to his idol, Constantine Galanos, Denver’s ruthless and charming CEO, but he’s even more excited to uncover the tantalizing secrets lurking up on the executive level. Maybe he’ll find something juicier than tawdry workplace affairs and petty office gossip, something he can share with his closest friends, daredevil Mia and secret crush Calvin.
When Sam comes across a closed door his first day on the job, he thinks one little peek can’t hurt. But he’s dead wrong. Behind that door is a Type A biohazard—infernal materials from Hell on company property—and a deal that could spell doom for Dark Enterprises and Earth…signed by the CEO himself.
Sam is in deep trouble now, and the problems keep piling up. The CEO’s homicidal assistant wants him fired (read: killed), Calvin is literally losing his mind over a secret project, and there’s something very unusual about Mia’s emotional-support rabbit, Mr. Bun-Bun…
It’s a mess like no other, but Sam is a janitor at Dark Enterprises. If he can’t save humanity as well as the man of his dreams, no one can.
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Praise for Messy as Hell
“Delightfully unhinged and cheerfully macabre, Mark Waddell’s newest book takes cozy corporate horror to the ninth ‘circle back’ of hell. Sam the janitor’s story is full of wordplay, shenanigans, dark rituals, and a friends-to-lovers romance that will mop you off your feet. Messy As Hell is fun as hell.”
– Emily Krempholtz, USA Today bestselling author of Violet Thistlewaite Is Not a Villain Anymore
“Messy As Hell is tons of fun, dark sorcery and the legions of hell against janitorial prowess and one cute rabbit. If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like working for the evil corporation, this is the book for you.”
– Django Wexler, author of How to Become the Dark Lord and Die Trying
“A fun read with a very important life lesson: Don’t f*** with the janitor!”
– Jim C. Hines, author of the Janitors of the Post-Apocalypse trilogy
“With puns aplenty, a swoony romance, and one adorable (and very normal) bunny, Messy As Hell delivers more of Waddell’s trademark humor and heart. We were instantly swept away by the delightful chaos of infernal corporate plots and characters who spill off the page. It’s one hell of a ride.”
– Kat Hillis and Rosiee Thor, co-authors of the Dead & Breakfast Mysteries